One Snap at a Time

I came to know the Lord Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Savior on November 9, 2003. I can still vividly recall sobbing at the Bread of Life church during the service, not wary what other people might say or think. I had deep seethed feelings and I needed to pour out my emotions to God. All the frustrations, bitterness, disappointments, I vented out to God. I questioned Him, asked Him why He took something beautiful in my life, my source of joy and pleasure, source of inspiration.

I’m a decent person, not perfect in any way, but a good person in general. I prayed at night, went to church as often as I could, I don’t deserve the misery I am in. Others deserve this, but not me.

I could not remember any instance before that, nor after that, wherein I cried more, harder. I was sobbing uncontrollably. Then God impressed His message on me. No bright lights, no drama, what so ever.

“I took something beautiful, but I have something more beautiful for you, I took your joy, you’ll find your joy in me”

I had peace after that, I was still crying and sobbing hard, but I had peace. Peace on the fact that God was in control of my life, my comforter, that He has something better for me.

From then on, I began reading the Bible my sister gave me a long time ago. I read my Bible more than I read my books at school. I was thirsty of God’s word. I went to church at Bread of Life twice a week to satisfy my thirst of God’s word, I was invited by a friend to attend the weekly meetings of Campus Crusade for Christ in our school.

This time spent immersing in God’s word took a toll on my studies. I remember getting a score of only 20 over 100 on the first two exams of one of our toughest subjects. But I was confident I’d be able to get through it. I have God by my side. With a little more effort spent studying I was able to get high scores in the succeeding exams to offset the poor effort I gave on the first ones. I did not waver in my search for God, in developing a deeper relationship with Him.

Then people began to see the changes in me. Where once I blurted out obscenities after every word, I was now more refined. Where once I could not decline my friend’s invitations for a drink, I was now unshakeable. I was changed, I was changed by God.

I am not perfect in any way, but I strived to please God, to do His will, follow His word. I still commit sins, but where once, I would not even bat an eye when I sin, now I was gripped with remorse, I was more conscious of sins destructive power. I’m still a sinner, but I am forgiven.

To be continued…